We all have best laid plans. Those of us with children try our best to provide fun, educational and enriching activities for them much as we can. Whether it's a trip out to a paid activity, a game set up at home, or a movie you've rented because you think they'll love it, we all try our best to do nice things for our children.

As sometimes they could not give a fuck.

Sometimes the paid activity become a very expensive opportunity to drive to and from a location with a little car seat tussle and a parking lot tantrum in between; a game turns into an exercise in lightning speed destruction; or the movie is of literally no interest whatsoever and the free junk mail that was just delivered is in fact the best toy ever.

You read that right. I'm not talking about when you get home from the hospital and walk into your house not pregnant any more. I'm not talking about the first few days when you're bleeding and still throwing up. I'm not really talking about the first time you're part of a conversation about children, or there is a real life baby in your vicinity.

I mean the bit when you're just wanting it to be over so you can move on, when you're still going back to the doctor for weekly blood draws and waking up from nightmares every night in a cold sweat.

I had a miscarriage. It's not my first, it might not be my last, and it's still not over. I was told my baby did not have a heart beat (after weeks of good news from blood tests about excellent rising HCG levels and all the appropriate symptoms) more than six weeks ago. When I first started in the baby making game, I knew about the very real possibility of miscarriage- that one in eight pregnancies end in miscarriage. But I didn't really know what it would be like if it happened- I think people are talking more openly about pregnancy loss or maybe I'm just moving in the circle where talking about it isn't taboo.

It might sound pretty suspect for someone that owns a small stationery business (BLOSSOM + BLOT just so happened to be Rhode Island Monthly's Editor's Pick for best "Whimsical Stationery 2018" in case you didn't know *imagine my eyebrows wiggling at this point*) to say good things about a completely online greetings card service. But hear me out.

I made it clear in my GROUND RULES post that if I have the opportunity to work with a company with whom my interests align, I will. Being that I live 3000 miles away from the vast proportion of my family and that my time management skills have been decimated by two small humans, being able to send a card this simply and quickly via Paperless Post is pretty bloody awesome.

That being said I think there's a time and place for paper vs. paperless.

Since Hello Holly (formerly Holly Likes to Cook) has been in hiatus I've been asked a lot "what have you been up to?". The answer isn't a short one really, but ultimately it boils down to:

I have been living.

Since having one of those big life moments last year, when I realized my mental health had taken a bit of a battering postnatally, I have just been living.

Not living it up, and not being entirely down, more like somewhere in the middle. And really, isn't that what many of us really, really want, the middle?

I will always be honest with what I write, but I will respect my privacy and the privacy of my family.

I don't just like sharing my experiences with people, I get so much out of it. I get balance and perspective and really genuinely helpful advice. I get the chance to see the big picture and I get moments of realizing that not everyone has is figured out. I see that we are all different but mostly all just trying our best. To that end I promise you my honesty and integrity, on the the understanding that not everything is for public consumption and that I'm the one that gets to make the decision.

If you liked my original blog (that used to be right here- don't worry you've not got lost!) I hope you'll like what it has become.

Holly Likes to Cook started in 2012, and since then I've grown up, we all have. We've changed, grown and discovered new things. We've made new friends and found our way in the world. We've seen good stuff and bad stuff, and a lot of in between stuff. We've lost things and gained things, and figured out how to be ok with it. We've messed up and made up and started over fresh, and learnt something new every time.

One thing I've learnt over the past few years is how much I've loved building a community of friends who share my likes, loves and WTFs.

Hello Holly is Holly Likes to Cook all grown up, not just a one way blog for you to read and watch, but a place we can figure stuff out together as I show you what I'm trying, what works... and what absolutely doesn't!

I hope you'll say "hello Holly" as I launch the new site and fill it with content that is completely and utterly me.

I hope you'll come back to read the lifestyle blog of a mum of twins who likes to cook, style, wonder, wander and a whole bunch more.